Date Yourself

Being Alone to Attract Better People

by Sean Heaney

Some high-schoolers I've talked to about relationships would rather date any random person than be alone, and I find that just... sad. If you can't stand being with yourself for over a month, do you think another quality person would be able to?

So these people date. I'm not saying it will end poorly, because of course they could be absolutely perfect for you. They could check all your boxes, and you could be so happy with them. But if you haven't taken some time to get to know yourself, and take care of your needs, and all the other clichés, you may not be ready.

That's nothing to be upset about, though. Take all the effort that you would be putting toward a relationship, and treat yourself. If nothing else, you will learn how you want to be treated. Dating isn't an end goal. It's more of a side project that you can take on if you want (emphasis on side).

You deserve to be happy. Whether or not that means being with someone is irrelevant. The fact is, it's 2017. Back a couple hundred years ago, marriage was a strategical life choice, and almost a necessity. But now, with all the options we have today, and all the alternate lifestyles we can live, you don't have to be with someone.

You can afford to be picky. I know what you're thinking: "Sean, you've said before to lower your expectations!" And no, I'm not contradicting myself. While these words may not be synonymous, what I mean to convey is this: Be picky when choosing a partner once you've been alone and made yourself into the best version of yourself; Once you're dating, though, lower your unrealistic expectations, because these misconceptions of "perfect relationships" have ruined too many good couples.

The Notebook (2004)

The Notebook (2004)

Moral of the story, work on yourself if you want to date better people.